Our (soon to be) children’s age gap was a little shocking at first, 9 years…We are starting over, completely in some sense. That shock got over fairly quickly and now we are more than thrilled for the gap. We loved the fact Mason was an only child, but we also always wanted him to have a sibling and after so long started getting baby fever, so it just happened. We’ve had some comments and/or shock from some people about starting over, read below why we are okay with the gap. And in all honesty, really the only opinion that matters in your own :)
Reasons I am thankful for the large age gap and of course a few cons below.
- Alone time for each child. In a way both kids will get there only child feel. Mason had 9 years of being an only child, now the new baby will get that only child feel for 5 years while Mason’s in school. Even when school isn’t in session, Mason doesn’t require as much attention anymore, so the baby will get as much as it needs.
- Vacations might not be as exhausting. With one a lot older than the other, they will be able to help out more and again one won’t require as much attention. Although you will need to accommodate all ages when choosing a destination.
- Helper. I really enjoy watching Mason become more independent and more helpful after finding out he will be a big brother, it’s been a motivator for him to grow up some.
- Your well seasoned on parenting. Sure you might have forgotten a few newborn things, you are older and wiser and have had many years to learn.
- Siblings fighting over objects. They won’t be interested in the same things, so that’ll be nice. Sure, I still expect sibling rivalry, but at least they won’t be able to share clothing or interested in the same age toys.
Although there are some cons to waiting so long.
- Starting from scratch with baby supplies if you weren’t planning on having more or you simply don’t have the space to keep baby supplies for years.
- Sports/Activities. Although this is a con for any age gap, your children will all have different interest, your time will need to be split between them and it can be very time consuming, the opposite child will have to learn to sit through the others activities.
- Your body. I’ve noticed a difference in being pregnant in my early 20s and early 30s. My body isn’t as tough.
- “It’s not just about you” Mason has no problem sharing toys and belongings, but what thing he has trouble sharing is time. As in when we go and do something we often have to remind him “It’s not just about you”. Example when we take him and his cousin to the park, we don’t leave just because he’s done and wants to leave, it’s when everyone’s ready to leave. This will be everyday everything we do, so it will be an adjustment.
- Diapers and sleepless nights. This can be a huge one, you’re just so used to not have to wipe someone else’s butt and getting a good nights sleep.
As you can see there really isn’t any “perfect” age gap! So, go with what you feel is perfect and right for your family. Just know that it is perfectly okay to wait years to have your second child.
This was an interesting read because my aunt and my dad are 9 years apart. There are a lot of pictures with her holding “her baby” on her lap, lol – it’s super cute :).
I am hoping to have kids some day so I worry a lot re: the body strain too … I just turned 30.